On Courage…

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‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent’
 
I’m lucky enough to have a Mum who reminds me of this wonderful Eleanor Roosevelt quotation whenever a day has proved too hard, or people too cruel. 
In ten words it completely surmises the respect and pride you should have in yourself, and to not let the seeds of doubt planted by others grow in your mind.
 
The last few weeks have been a bit of a roller-coaster (when does life not have it’s ups and downs I know!) and a lot of circumstance that I have found myself dealing with, has been unexpected, draining and not so good for personal morale!
 
I’ve sat here for about twenty minutes deliberating what to write, what to divulge and what I shouldn’t include, and I guess essentially it’s not entirely relevant for the overall point I want to get across.
 
 
Suffice to say, that I have had a huge learning curve the last month, and through the highs and lows, I have realised that adversities are much better handled with a smile. Hardships can be laughable with a good friend, and that every now and then, even if it is logically the very last thing you should be doing…you can go and get horrendously drunk and dance to 90’s RnB at three in the morning (thankfully no photos of that to show!)
 
It’s hard writing this in a way that doesn’t come across as pompous, or preachy – or even (heaven forbid!)…Cheesy! 
But I just think we all need reminding of our own value sometimes – like in ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ when George realises how different the lives around him would have been had he not existed. You never know when you’re someones ray of sunshine, or when a quick phone call or kind word makes someone feel a hundred times better.
 
 
Before I continue, I’ll take a moment to explain that these photos were obviously taken on Brighton beach, on a cold but bright afternoon walk. 
 
The pillars that I am standing by are part of the remains of the West Pier, built in the 1860’s, after all these years they have stood the test of time!
 
Also, I’m wearing a very comfy, very non-blog-worthy outfit! The smart shirt is a recent purchase from New Look – tres Annie Hall! My gorgeous antique coat was a gift from Margaux and Alec of The Splendid Suitcase – it’s so gorgeous!
My skinny jeans are an old Topshop pair, and my favourite sunglasses (more for wind protection than sun!) were from H&M.

 

 
 
And these little beauties were a gift from Modcloth last year! I adore them!
 
 
Someone who definitely deserves a tip of the hat for being my own (as afore mentioned) ray of sunshine, is Becca my flat mate! After finding ourselves in a very similar situation it’s been so lovely to have someone to not only seek comfort and hope from, but to provide for to! 
 
From cooking ourselves nice meals (especially breakfast  – conquer that and the rest of the day will sort itself out!) to decorating the flat (photos soon!) movie marathons, heart to hearts and a few too many cointreau’s!
It’s the little things that make a difference I suppose!
 
 
And whilst I can thank her for her emotional support…
 
 
Her physical support (ie. me not ending up on the floor!)
 
 

 

Leaves a lot to be desired! Ha!
 
 
So I guess in conclusion, I’m putting the ‘look inwards for strength’ myth to bed. Sure finding strength in yourself is a rewarding and a worthwhile pursuit. But in contrast, it is no easy task to seek help and support in others to get you through troubling times.
 
You don’t have to have all the answers, and you don’t have to be happy all the time.
What matters is that you assert yourself on dealing with whatever adversities you find yourself facing, and enlist the help of the ones you love to pull through.
You’d do the same for them after all!  
 
 
And above all, be kind to yourself.
 
I need to keep reminding myself of that one.
 
Love Yours Truly, x

 

37 COMMENTS:

  1. carelessly cut11 April 2013 08:52

    This was so lovely to read!
    I’m finding myself going through so many ups and downs lately too, which actually doesn’t normally happen to me. This has made me feel a ton better!
    And, of course, just looking at your beautiful photographs and sense of style is enough to cheer me right up πŸ™‚

    Rosie x

    Reply

  2. Sue @ A Colourful Canvas11 April 2013 09:02

    Such a lovely and thoughtfully written post. Hope things sort themselves out for you soon. What a treasure that your flat mate is a a kindred soul.

    Sue xo

    Oh, and love, love your brogues. In fact your whole outfit just fits a walk on the beach. I too live by the sea and love anything ocean inspired.

    Reply

  3. Kitsune-kun11 April 2013 09:13

    glad to hear you’re doing well through hard times,-sorry to hear you have to go through them though. you both look so cute and fun! as they always say in my favourite korean dramas, “fighting'” ( highly recommend becoming addicted to korean dramas if you’re no there already. excellent waste of time. Full House and The Greatest Love are my favourites and they’re on hulu or mysoju.com with subtitles.) It was always cheers me up to watch a couple episodes if I’m feeling down!

    Reply

  4. Lucys Lounge11 April 2013 09:14

    lovely post , lovely photos , lovely blogs and lovely friends. what more could one want. love lucyx

    Reply

  5. Eccentric Owl11 April 2013 09:47

    This is such a lovely post and a great reminder. I’m sorry you have to go through hard times, though!
    And I love your outfit. It’s so simple and sweet.
    xo
    Kristina
    www.eccentricowl.com

    Reply

  6. Ladies in Navy11 April 2013 09:49

    you’re looking super cute! love your top! πŸ™‚ hope you feel better, lady!
    kw ladies in navy

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  7. Babes in Thriftland11 April 2013 10:17

    Love these photos and especially your words! I had a hard time financially recently. I tried handling it on my own and just winded up more in debt and feeling more terrible. I wracked up my courage and asked my parents to help me figure out how to turn it around. I was embarrassed that they saw how poorly I was managing things but talking it out really helped. I agree you need to rely on others in times of trouble. It doesn’t make you weak, it makes you smart! We don’t have all the answers! Thanks for sharing and hopefully things start to go back on the upswing for you!

    Reply

  8. October Rebel11 April 2013 10:44

    So sorry about the rough times. πŸ™

    I think your outfit is sublime and totally blog-worthy! I love simplicity (and the color blue), and I think your photos are gorgeous. πŸ™‚

    Reply

  9. Sing it, sister! I’ve been feeling the same way lately. Thanks, this was a nice little reminder to keep my chin up. Keep yours up too :).

    Reply

  10. jessthetics11 April 2013 11:25

    This post is so lovely. You’re so right, having people to look out for you is the best. (I also think your shirt and your lipstick is super chic.) Whatever it was, i’m glad you came out on the other side! xx

    www.jessthetics.wordpress.com

    Reply

  11. Arezu In Wonderland11 April 2013 11:51

    That is a good quote.
    Love your shoes.

    XO Arezu

    Reply

  12. Elmedina Tiric11 April 2013 12:29

    Beautiful outfit<3

    http://nekinovi-klinci.blogspot.com/

    Reply

  13. Oh my, these were exactly the words I needed to read! Seriously, you always say the right things.
    I really hope you’re coping well with whatever’s giving you hard times, it’s so important not to forget to smile and stay positive, however hard it may seem. Once you put on that smile, even when you feel it’s the last thing you wanna do, you’ll instantly feel better, it’s amazing. Also, one should never – NEVER – forget about self, it’s so important to keep going, putting on makeup, dressing up, taking care of yourself – it makes a whole lot difference. Your only a loser when you agree to be one; as I always say to myself after a failure – upwards, onwards!

    Take care and thank you for being so amazing X
    Reeli

    Reply

  14. Helen Le Caplain11 April 2013 12:53

    What a lovely post – for what it’s worth I think it’s a good outfit for a blog post πŸ˜‰

    That’s what good friends are for, dancing until you’re dizzy, laughing when you fall on your behind and laughing even harder when they’re trying to pick you up πŸ™‚

    www.mancunianvintage.com

    Reply

  15. Bad Taste Toast11 April 2013 13:18

    First of all: the photos are beautiful!
    Second: the words are beautiful too.

    I can relate to what you say, I’ve been having a hard time in finding positivity and strength lately and your post captures what I’m finally starting to find out too, namely that it’s easier to handle problems with a smile. It’s easier to see the positive things and once you’ve found the strength to do so, everything will get better and better.

    Reply

  16. countrygirlcityfashion11 April 2013 13:40

    I’m very glad you did feature this outfit, it’s so cute! Your coat and shoes are stunning, and I love the rest of your outfit as well.

    Reply

  17. Rachel Sullivan11 April 2013 13:57

    Even your non-blog worthy outfits are blog worthy. These pictures are beautiful, and you and your roomate are super cute. Glad to hear you’re keeping a smile on!

    Rachel

    Reply

  18. Ana Stevenson11 April 2013 14:52

    This came in the right time so I must say thank you! I was needing to hear/read something like that and it really helped. I hope you have a lovely weekend and that you have a major up in your life after some downs πŸ˜‰ xxx

    Reply

  19. Such a great and thoughtful post, you write in such a kind and honest way. I really hope there are a few more ups and a few less downs in your future. You flat mate seems like a great friend. Also the photo of you laughing in sunglasses is lovely!

    Reply

  20. alittlevintagestory11 April 2013 18:27

    Thank you for such a wonderful post. I’ve had the most up and down year of my life thus far, and reading about other people’s positvity in the face of adversity has helped me the up’s become more frequent than the downs. xx

    Reply

  21. I loved your hairstyle…Take care πŸ™‚

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  22. Mixed Mediums Theatre12 April 2013 09:11

    Such a beautiful post!!! Thank you!

    Cx
    http://mixedmediumstheatre.blogspot.ca/

    Reply

  23. Lizette Rosser12 April 2013 10:54

    hhah that last photo is awesome!

    www.thebluecurtain.blogspot.com

    Reply

  24. I love your matching coats in different colors and how much fun you look like you’re having! So cute!

    Reply

  25. these are such beautiful words. i am so sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time.
    when i first came across your blog last year i was having a pretty tough time, and reading your posts with their wonderful positive vibe to them was one of the little pleasures in life that would cheer me up, so thank you πŸ™‚

    I really hope that everything gets better for you soon. keep smiling. xxxxx

    Reply

  26. I hope that you’re doing OK! Your positive attitude is inspiring; I love that quote as well and think about it often when people make me feel bad about myself. Hugs from the USA (Utah)! πŸ™‚

    Reply

  27. Isobelle’s Pantry16 April 2013 06:05

    Such a lovely post! πŸ™‚ I adore the Eleanor Roosevelt quote, it’s definitely one to remember. Hope your rough times pass soon. Love the photos of you and Becca; they’re so fun! πŸ™‚
    Catherine from Isobelle’s Pantry x

    Reply

  28. GrΓ‘inne16 April 2013 10:58

    This was so nicely written! Your blog is beautiful and so are you! I hope things are looking up :)xx

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  29. Thank you very much for the post! It is really encouraging! You are so right about being kind to yourself!
    And of course I enjoyed your photos! So warm in spite of the weather πŸ™‚

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  30. cute!!!!!!!!!

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  31. Such a great post, thank you for taking time to write all these down. I agree with you and I think nobody appreciates themselves enough, me being the headmistress of that crowd. I’m glad you have the support you need after whatever made you go through the rough times. Friendship is exciting and very much needed at all times! You look absolutely dashing in everything you wear, so there is that even though the things are poopy now. Hope you feel much better soon and document that 90s RnB night the next time you get drunk because nobody can have enough drunkard 90s RnB nights in their life. (Or maybe they can.) Much love to Becca since she is lovely! xxx

    Reply

  32. Such an inspirational and lovely post, I enjoyed reading and looking at your beautiful photos. xx

    Reply

  33. your blog is always so lovely to read! wish you the best!

    Reply

  34. novella afterglow29 April 2013 06:29

    Absolute love this post, I had a similar kind of epiphany recently after life decided to throw a curve ball at me! New follower πŸ™‚

    www.novella.afetrglow.blogspot.co.uk

    Reply

  35. Katherine / Of Corgis and Cocktails7 May 2013 05:24

    This is a wonderful post – not only are the two of your adorable and stylish, but the actual topic of this post is so easy to relate to. I agree – having a support system (quite literally there ahaha?) is a wonderful thing. I just really loved this!

    Reply

  36. Kelly-Marie25 May 2013 05:12

    What a lovely post Kerry. You are very very lucky to have some one like Becca and I’m sure she feels very lucky to have you. It also feels very relevant to me now too because since moving away I have looked at friendships in a totally different way, especially because so many of my best ones are so far away from me now, but it;s also taught me that no matter where you are a friend is a friend and the true friendships will be there no matter where they are.
    I really hope you’re okay, sending you lots of love and theres a a shoulder here in the New Forest if you ever need one. xxx

    Reply

  37. This post. thank you. This post is incredibly applicable to a situation i am in right now, eerily applicable actually. Thank you for being so willing to share you’re thoughts and advice, truly.

    in other news, i’m really in love with your style. it’s very unique and tasteful.

    Reply